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Unless you are reading this piece in New Zealand, it is important to start off with one very clear statement. AUSTRALIA is a very, very long way from almost everywhere else. It is a very large, often empty, diverse, fascinating country/continent. It therefore follows that a trip to Australia will reward in direct proportion to the amount of planning you are willing to undertake in the months before you 'buy that ticket'. We fortunately had a lot of time to see this wonderful country but because we visited Australia as part of a longer trip ,we had to juggle dates to take into account weather conditions in Central America and Asia.

The next decision after 'how long in Oz' is to work out a suitable route for the trip. we chose to go though Los Angeles and Fiji to New Zealand but there are many ways to tackle routing and just as many airlines and fares to consider. Approached in the right spirit this planning exercise can be a lot of fun. We used British Airways (not one of our favourites) in order to take advantage of its Quantas connection and that proved to be a good decision. Since the journey from Europe is so long, it may seem reasonable to visit New Zealand in tandem with Australia but be warned - while Fiji and the islands are a pleasant stop-over en route to the 'main event', consider New Zealand in this way at your peril. New Zealand is not a little side-show on your Down Under Trip. NZ is a fabulous country and it is very well worth a full visit in its own right. Most Aussies have enormous 'Oz Pride' and they might hate me for saying this but they will understand what I mean when I say :

IF YOU DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO SEE BOTH COUNTRIES PROPERLY, STRONGLY CONSIDER A TRIP TO NEW ZEALAND ONLY AND LEAVE AUSTRALIA FOR ANOTHER TIME.

Flying in from Christchurch, NZ, I have to admit that Melbourne was a crashing anti-climax for both of us. It is a large modern city - just like many others. We planned only a few days there and that included quite a lot of time spent at the Melbourne Cricket Ground and at the Melbourne Park complex - home of the Aussie Open Tennis Championships (played in late January each year - but book early if you want to be part of this - the best of the four tennis majors). These venues are a 'must-see' for anybody interested in either sport and of course Melbourne did have its own Olympic Games back in 1956. There is an Olympic Museum at the MCG and that is also well worth a visit. A photograph of Flora, standing with arms aloft, on the actual podium used for medal presentations back in '56 has pride of place on our 'travel wall' but that is as close as either of us will come to winning Olympic gold.

While the exhibits and venues themselves were fascinating, we were lucky to meet such friendly, knowledgable and amusing staffers at all of these places. To these 'dinkum Aussies' go our thanks. The new Melbourne Museum is also worth a look although we are not alone in our view that much of the over-all presentation is heavily influenced by the Te Papa in Wellington, NZ. Both museums are splendid and make a most welcome (if shamefully belated) effort to give the indigenous societies of Australia and New Zealand a proper platform.

We took the long rail journey up to Sydney as we enjoy trains and this gave us a good opportunity to see the countryside. Like Melbourne, Sydney is a big modern city and in its business district, one could be anywhere in Europe or North America but walk on through that area and you do reach something unique.

The harbour area is stunning and as with Taj Mahal, Statue of Liberty or Victoria Falls, we have all seen so many pictures over the years that it only increases the thrill of standing on the steps of Sydney Opera House, watching the ferries and wondering what it all might look like from the top of that amazing Harbour Bridge. There are many ways to 'do the Bridge' and all offer a different sort of look. You can walk across the bridge and get some great photographs, as you go, or you can climb the stairs in one of the Pylons and look out from the observation point. The staircase in the pylon is good - much less claustrophobic than the rather chaotic equivalent in The Statue of Liberty and there is a lot of interesting bridge history info along the way.

For the more daring bridge afficionado there is the 3 hour long BridgeClimb which takes you over the arch of the structure (some of you may remember my countryman Billy Connolly doing this on his TV series). Book this trip ahead, if you can , as weather conditions and seasonal demand make it most unlikely that you will simply roll up and climb that day. You need to pass a breath test and be warned -this is a trip where your personal safety is taken truly seriously. You will get a group photograph as part of the deal but you are not allowed to take your own cameras or video recorders on BridgeClimb.

If that is not enough and you would like some more 'bridge experiences', consider a sea-plane trip over the harbour and beyond but, spectacular as that may be, it will not eclipse the memories of our Cessna flight over Milford Sound on South Island, New Zealand. Maybe the most romantic bridge view is to be found at sunset, as you take a ferry-ride from Mossman back to Sydney's Main Terminal. Take the short walk from there to the Sydney Cove Oyster Bar and (having had the good sense, earlier, to book the little turret table for two) eat some wonderful fresh seafood, while listening to great music and wash it all down with a local beer, as you watch the sun go down. After dark the harbour and its surroundings take on a completely different look and another ferry ride proves a wonderful way to end a memorable day.

Whisper it - there is another Bridge Experience available to the brave/foolish souls who, finding the organised arch-trip over fussy and homogenized, take the highly dangerous and illegal after dark climb on their own (or even more riskily with a bunch of fellow drunks). The buzz is fantastic but if you do use a camera, watch where you take your film for developing. You just might find Syndney's Finest on hand to convict you with your own generously-provided evidence. That is nether my confession nor is it my recommendation. Do not bother to check your holiday insurance contract - fall off Sydney Harbour Bridge and that will be at your own expense. Don't worry about possible injuries if you fall -you will surely die as you hit the water !

Sydney's Olympic venues are also open to visitors and if your trip should coincide with a rugby international (mostly July/August), the main stadium is magnificent and noisy, even if it obviously lacks the tradition of Ellis Park or Lancaster Park. The Opera House looks spectacular from the outside but the various halls in the building are unremarkable. The Australian Museum is worth a visit and the Basement Club is a quirky jazz and blues venue that will not disappoint the ear - have a beer there but eat somewhere else.

Sydney and Melbourne are great cities but if you want to taste the smaller and perhaps 'more Australian' cities - head north to Top End. Fly if your time is short or take a bus trip if you want to spend a few weeks exploring the excellent beaches of Queensland on your way to Cairns and the Great Barrier Reef. Just north of Brisbane we cross the Tropic of Capricorn and the difference between Oz's tropical Top End and the temperate south is very obvious as the temperature soars. The sadly threatened rain forest will prove to be worth an Aussie trip all on its own.

Off the coast lies the Coral Sea and its Great Barrier Reef - inland from Cairns is Tableland and its rain-forest. The link between these two remarkable features is fascinating to explore and it must be the most earnest hope of anybody with a grain of sense, that the commercial interests which threaten this fragile eco-system will be kept at bay by a government which has not always prioritised conservation. The reef is already under major threat from global warming and over-zealous tourists who, despite ample warning from their guides, behave stupidly around the corals.

Cairns is a major 'dive centre' and if you have any wish to take some beginners' instruction, there can be no better place than this. To the more experienced diver, this is a paradise - similar to Eilat in southern Israel . I did not dive in Eilat and I do not dive off Fitroy Island but Flora has long dreamed of scuba-diving the Reef and she found the fish and coral life at close quarters to be everything that she had hoped to see.

There are many different companies offering diving or simply fishing or sight-seeing trips and there is no need to book ahead. Take a look at the variety of activities on offer and select for yourself. Cairns is a pleasant town and it is geared to the visitor. Nearby the Skyrail provides a fascinating way to see the rain-forest without creating the mayhem that big numbers of tourists would cause at ground level. This is a very smart local-government sponsored project. The Skyrail journey starts near the Tjapukai Aboriginal Culture Centre. Take the time to see this wonderful place and learn enough about the Aboriginal experience to understand some of the background to the problems this people experiences today. We took the Skyrail to Kurunda and then came back on the steam-train to Cairns. The scenery is breathtaking with a photo-opportunity at every bend in the line.

Enough of this sunshine - the bus to Cape Tribulation awaits and at the end of that journey we head for our cabin in the rain forest. Dire warnings about the variety of creatures that will invade our cabin in search of any food or scented cosmetics prove unfounded and we set off with our guide, Paul O'Dowd on the night walk. 'Watch your step' became our watchword and while this might not be as life-threatening as a false step on Sydney Harbour Bridge by night, there were many ways to collect sores and stings in the dense forest. That apart, the fleeting views of a whole range of nocturnal wildlife made this an evening to remember. The trap-door spiders and a magnificent Boyd's Forest Dragon were our favourites.

Next day we visited another part of the forest and Paul was again on hand to point out creatures and features that we would have simply blundered past. Camouflage is the name of the survival game in this green world. Soaked to the skin (well - it is the RAIN forest), we got back to our cabin without major mishap although a few leeches had feasted on my ankles. Once my leeches were carefully removed, the little wounds stopped bleeding but for weeks after, in the shower, they would leak a little more blood. I will be more careful next time.

We left Cairns for Northern Territory and two hours later we flew into Darwin. This is the true heart of Australia and our time spent at Top End will be a fond memory, long after Sydney and Melbourne impressions merge into other great cities we have visited. Top End has the same sort of feel as Alaska (thanks Peter Bolderson - your piece on Alaska brought back great memories of that wonderful land - we are also big afficionados). It is seen as Australia's 'last frontier' and is more obviously Aboriginal-influenced than the rest of the country. From Darwin we took a Billy Can tour-this was one of a number of companies offering similar tours. We were very pleased with our three day trip which included a boat cruise where we fed the crocs on the Adelaide river, Edith Falls and a spectacular trip through the amazing Katherine Gorge. Darwin had been great but that which was wonderful was about to pile into overdrive - simply the best !

A number of people spoke well of Shane and his little tour operation - Dreamtime Safaris. Having spent some years getting to know the area and its people, Shane has been granted permits by the elders who administer sections of Arnhemland. He respects their traditions and his genuine affection for this often-villified race is clear as we take the long drive to Bodeidei Wadda. We ate by the camp fire late at night and all six of us are tired out after the bumpy jeep ride.

We bathed in the nearby stream in early morning and a great savannah and escarpment drive took us to Klikimara, where we swam in the pools of clear water and then settled for the night on the flat rocks overlooking these pools. Lying on our swags, we looked down at the red eyes of the crocodiles and up at the amazing array of stars as the sky prepared to present full moon. Over supper, Shane told us some old Aboriginal tales - legends of the various birds and animals and these were still ringing in our ears as we settled for the night. How can you sleep with so much to see ? Eventually sky-watching and sleep merged, but luckily we both woke early enough to see the fabulous dawn sky.

We really had rolled out our swags by the billabong and sat by the fire to wait for our billy to boil. Breakfast never tasted better and Waltzing Matilda never sounded sweeter - we were out there living the song ! A hiking day followed and some rock art while Shane was joined, in one of our village stops, by a young Aboriginal friend - Adrian. A few miles down the road Shane suddenly stopped the jeep and Adrian leapt off, tore a big branch from a tree and hurled it at a retreating goanna - a big lizard and considered a major delicacy in this area. He felled his prey first-time and strapped the unlucky creature over the bonnet of our jeep. We drove back to Adrian's village where he received a hero's welcome from the 'head-man' to whom he presented his trophy.

The last few days had just been the best of the best and back in Darwin we took a quiet last day to look over part of the city that had been bombed by the Japanese back in World War Two. Yes, there really was a black-out in Darwin back in the forties with a Japanese invasion feared for several months. As usual, we had met a mass of great people in Australia and they combined with the landscape to make this another memorable trip.

A final thought on ethical tourism. Ponder a journey that starts in London and takes you to Australia, where the 'evil empire' once enslaved the indigenous, forced their conversion to Christianity and treated the Aborigine population as savages. Think about the fact that only in recent years has the Aborigine been reclassified by the Australian government as a person. Prior to that they were 'regulated' as flora and fauna. Maybe when a moral standpoint comes closer to home, the view is a little different. Colonial goverment, Commonwealth control and the sad influence of the European-based Christian churches has made the indigenous Australian the victim of a systematic regime of cruelty, the 'slave-legacy' of which is even today clear for all to see. Consider our sad track record as we prepare to judge others from the 'ethical safe-haven' of Cool Britannia's cosmopolitan London of 2001.

First published in VISA issue 42 (autumn 2001)

View some pictures of Australia

A trip to Australia's red centre

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